Whoa, Life! This is weird (but I like it)!

Last weekend was full of tears and hopelessness and lots of screaming and stuff like that. There were lots of emotions involved: from utter, unjustified happiness to utter (un)justified desperation. It's weird. It's been long since I last cried like that (almost exactly 11 months XD).

So everything just kinda finally exploded because I wasn't able to find a job. I'm in debt for one month of school fee and I was about to shoot myself (not really, tho) when I started telling myself I had to find a way to settle things out. So...I thought the best thing to do (and that was something I've had in mind for a long, long time...ever since I started school, actually) was to finish my thesis project and then go out to the big bad world and see whatever it has to offer (if it even has anything to offer yet). And so I finished my  new research protocol (I changed my study subject but I like this lots more and that kinda makes it easier :B), sent it to my consultant teacher, hoping she would answer back as soon as she could for me to register it at school and apply for a scholarship. I also started saving all I could from the first chapter I already had written and it so happened to fit beautifully, so... I've already 15 pages there XD

She did answer, by the way. And I can't tell how happy I am to have her beside me.

And then D chan (bless her, totally bless her) appeared and I told her all that happened and then she asked whether I was interested in being in a research project she's working at now, for her own consultant teacher, who's a researcher in our University. So, things happened and now I am working there. And I'll be there for the next year or so until I'm done with my thesis project and I'll be able to keep up with Japanese and take Noryoku Shiken and keep up with my singing and dubbing classes and I'll be able to pay for that and I'll still be at the choir. AAAAND I'll also be able to see D chan everyday as we did at the Film Library :')

Even my family are acting different towards me and I feel so calm and so much better...although I'm still struggling to change my old habits to good ones so I can do everything and don't die in the process XDDDD

And all that happened in less than a week. And I cried last night again, but out of sheer dumb happiness and disbelief and things that are finally paying off after such a shitty couple of years. It's the first time in life I've ever cried of happiness. I feel I've taken the right choices in life. Even if they are rather slow...but all's paying off and I'm so happy I didn't choose otherwise...no matter how many people I've left behind u.u There are some I miss...and there are some I feel happy to have left. That sounds horrible, but I think it couldn't've been otherwise u.u

Anyways, things are getting better and I hope they stay that way :') Imma try not to slow down :B

¡Fines de semana~! :DD

Últimamente me he enamorado mucho de mis fines de semana. Supongo que tiene que ver con que son los únicos días en que realmente hago cosas "productivas" o que veo a mis compañeritos del curso de doblaje (me pregunto si ya podré empezar a llamarlos "amigos". Confieso que les estoy tomando mucho cariño u.u) y ellos me suben mucho el ánimo. Ayer terminamos con el capítulo que dejamos pendiente la semana pasada (uno de Las tres mellizas) y platicamos al respecto. Fue maravilloso porque hicimos un capítulo de media hora en dos clases (lo cual es considerable si nos ponemos a pensar que, de la serie anterior, sólo avanzamos cinco minutos por clase...inche F ¬3¬). La verdad es que, cuando estaba frente al atril, me gustaba mi trabajo...pero cuando lo escuché al final me dí cuenta de que realmente me hace falta más .__. Aaaaaunque...ya me tardo menos en poner lo que tengo que poner XD

Y bueno, tuvimos la oportunidad de hacer voces distintas, entre las niñas (las trillizas), la Bruja Aburrida y Zeila, la gacela (que terminó siendo una reina)... Me divertí mucho haciendo a la bruja. Mis amigos (sí, acabo de decidir que ya lo son) me dicen que me quedaba muy chida. Cuando me escuché grabada ya no me gustó tanto, he de confesar. Con las niñas fue, más que nada, una cuestión de agudizar y endulzar la voz y no me quedaron tan mal. Pero la de Zeila me quedó bonita... Y eso que pensé que no me quedaría bien una voz de princesa o algo así XD

Terminamos la clase y salimos a platicar y shalalá. En eso estaba cuando mi profe salió y me dijo: 

—¿Qué haces afuera, Sneaky? ¡Órale, a trabajar! 

Yo lo miré y le pregunté: 

—¿Qué? ¿Yo? ¿En serio?

—¡Sí! Me hacen falta chicas. ¡Órale! ¡Para adentro!

Me metí a la cabina de nueva cuenta y me encontré con que me tocó el mismo personaje con el que apoyé la vez pasada en máster: una muchacha toda sensualota y mamona .___. Como en cada escena a grabar, primero vemos de qué trata y luego metemos el diálogo. Vi la primera escena... Estuvo leve. Sólo un filtro y una amenaza por teléfono a otra muchacha. Cuando vi la siguiente escena...no pude evitar pensar que se trataba de una película porno de bajo presupuesto por la baja calidad de la imagen. Cuando terminó la escena, mi profesor dijo: 

—Como puedes darte cuenta, en la clase de la mañana tenemos material apto para todo público. En la clase de la tarde, tenemos material más subido de tono. Si pongo esto en la mañana, capaz que Va (*una de las chavas más chicas de mi grupo*) se me va de espaldas. 

La escena, me explico, era cachondeo lésbico y luego un trío, con un güe :D (Güel, shet) No estaba tan, tan, taaaan fuerte...no tanto, al menos, cuando sólo tienes que ver. Pero cuando tienes que meterle pujidos y gemidos y el resto de la cabina está lleno de puros hombres, bueno...la cosa sí cambia considerablemente .___.

Y pues...hice lo que pude intentando, en la manera de lo posible, no sentirme consciente de mí misma. A final de cuentas, pensé, es un trabajo y la cosa es que se vea que no me espantan cosas como estas, pero... >3> La verdad no creo que haya salido bien... ./////.

Yapartemetocóhacerloconunchicoquemellamalaatención >//3//>

A-ny-ways.  Fue la segunda y última escena que me pidieron hacer y salí de ahí corriendo :D Antes, el profe me dijo: "¿Estás bien? ¿O ya te quedaste traumada?"

Me reí, nerviosa, y no pude más que contestar:

—No, está bien. Chamba es chamba, señor. Así las cosas...así es el bisne.

Luego salí a platicar con mis amiguis y a reírme de eso...y de otras cosas...y a frustrar los intentos de Ve y de JL de romper su récord de tiempo besándose porque Ve no dejaba de reírse de lo que yo decía.

—Es que no me quiero perder de las Sneakyaventuras... —decía cada vez que dejaba a JL con la lengua al aire.

Fue entonces que me dijeron que debería escribir un libro con mis chocoaventuras y venderlo porque sería gracioso: "Sneakyaventuras, por Sneaky". Ve también dijo que, cuando yo muera (y, aclaró, espera que falte mucho para eso todavía), seguramente las universidades del mundo se disputarán la custodia de mi cerebro para saber qué demonios traigo dentro. Después, Cobito dijo que él se lo robaría antes de que eso pasara y se lo pondría encima del suyo para transferir mis habilidades (aúnmepreguntocuáles) a su cuerpo. 

No pude evitar reír e imaginarme a Cobito kun fangirleando por yaoi, por Johnlock, leyendo fanfics en la madrugada y saltando y dando vueltas por todos lados como suelo hacerlo. O recitando Hamlet frente a Bellas Artes como hice yo la otra semana. Sería muy gracioso.

En fin, que fue un sábado muy divertido.

Y hoy fuimos a la Sala Nezahualcóyotl a escuchar a la OFUNAM. Y, no es por nada, pero la música en vivo es lo más hermoso y emocionante de este mundo. De verdad... Durante todo el concierto estuve perdida en los instrumentos, en las expresiones y gestos de los músicos, en la fuerza y la pasión del director y del pianista invitados. Mi favorito fue el Concierto para piano y orquesta en Fa de George Gershwin, el tercer movimiento. Dios mío... ¡Era jazz...combinado con música clásica! Alguna vez escuché que alguien dijo que una mezcla semejante no era posible porque ambos no se llevan. A lo mejor es una cuestión de gustos (a D no le gustó porque pensó que era muy caótico), pero esa pieza me convenció de que es posible mezclar ambos y emocionarse hasta el tuétano. En cuanto llegué a casa y encendí la computadora, busqué el concierto en internet. Lo escuché de nuevo: no se compara, para nada, con la intensidad de la versión en vivo y con la maestría y entrega del director invitado de hoy (Ronald Zollman) pero igual la dejaré por aquí :B

*suspiro* La verdad es que sí, estoy enamorada de esto (.-.) A veces me pregunto si realmente erré mi camino al escoger periodismo como carrera u.u No creo haber errado...pero supongo que jamás tuve el coraje suficiente para dedicarme de lleno al arte .___. Y, aunque sabía que amaba la música...amaba más escribir. Además, ¿quién iba a decir que realmente podía actuar? .___. ¡Desde la secundaria pensé que era una papa para ello! Y después no me preocupé en corroborar si era o no verdad porque actuar, presentarme frente a un público, nunca fue mi idea de "vida" XD

Como sea, de nuevo, estoy a disposición de la corriente XD A ver adónde vamos :D

Son cosas que no sé cómo tomar...

Lo frustrante de la vida es que, muchas veces, las cosas no salen como esperas que salgan. Y que, a veces, no sabes si eso es bueno o malo.

He escrito y contado hasta el cansancio (de la gente que me escucha) todas las cosas que me han dicho sobre mi trabajo como estudiante de actuación y de doblaje de voz. En todas y cada una de esas ocasiones he hecho evidente mi sorpresa por sus reacciones, por la forma en que se expresan de lo que hago.

Lo más sorprendente de todo es que no sólo se ha limitado a este tipo de cosas. También hablan de mí...de lo que soy, de cómo me comporto, de cómo soy con ellos, de lo que sé, de lo que hablo, de lo que comparto con ellos, mi forma de ser. Y es curioso ver que la gente también se sorprende, se anima, se emociona con eso. O se admira y se motiva.

La semana pasada, durante la celebración del cumpleaños de Lulú, mis compañeros de clase me dijeron cosas:

"Eres muy buena. Diste unos tonos bien chidos hoy."
"¿Quién?"
"Ella. Es muy buena..."
"Ah, sí, ella es muy buena"
"Tú ya vas para máster"
"Ya deberías estar en máster"...

Y luego:

"Es que lo hiciste tan rápido y ya ibas a ritmo y la otra persona era quien se equivocaba. Y tú no lo perdías..."

Y de veras que sí me lo creo. Creo que soy buena, creo que hago un buen trabajo y lo creo porque realmente me esfuerzo por hacer algo que valga la pena y creo que da frutos. 

Pero sé que aún tengo que mejorar muchísimo y eso es lo que estoy dispuesta a hacer. Y no me gusta presumir ni sentirme mucho porque realmente todavía no lo soy... Además de que, a veces, se me pasa la mano al momento de presumir u.u

O quizá es que me quedé con esa idea por lo que me dijo D en la secundaria... Que era muy presumida u.u Y sí lo era...creo XD Después de que dijo eso...dejé de serlo u.u Pero supongo que tendré que encontrar un justo medio u.u

Y luego este sábado...que ya casi será el pasado...hice a la Bruja Aburrida de las Tres Mellizas...y fue muy divertido y emocionante (aunque me puse algo nerviosa) y luego empezó la clase de máster y me llamaron para apoyar con un personaje femenino en lo que llegaban las demás chicas de máster. Y creo que no lo hice tan mal >3> Mis compañeritos me vitorearon y me aplaudieron y se emocionaron y yo también. Y me puse rojita .___. XD Y fui muy feliz. Muy, muy feliz porque creo que...sí se nota que realmente me estoy esforzando para hacer un trabajo decente ;^; Las tres líneas que me tocó hacer...las hice entre dos y tres tomas con un solo ensayo. Mi meta ahora es hacerlas en dos o una >''<9

Y luego lo que dicen de mí:

"¿De dónde saliste?"
"Eres todo un caso."
"Eres muy divertida."
"Eres muy linda."
"Aw. No puedo con su carita. Eres como la hermana menor que nunca tuve y nunca quise tener."
"Brillante...modesta...talentosa...genio incomprendido...no entienden tu genialidad...eres genial...me alegras el día..."

"¡No sigas! Esa fuerza... La humedad de mi cuerpo no tiene nada que ver con la lluvia." XD

Es muy curioso. No sé. Antes, cuando recién entré al club, era raro recibir ese tipo de comentarios, pero veía a la gente y a mis amigos reaccionar positivamente a mis chistes y comentarios tontos y me sorprendía que se rieran en verdad porque, en casa y en la secundaria, lo más que arrancaba eran ojos en blanco y medias sonrisas. En la preparatoria era más graciosa porque todas mis amigas eran de mi estilo... En la Universidad no tanto pero, rumbo al final de la carrera, mis imitaciones me colocaban en el gusto de mis amig@s, al igual que en el club.

Y, ahora, en esta nueva escuela... Como que todo se conjuntó y se extrapoló y supongo que es porque practiqué con esas habilidades en lugares aparte y...de alguna forma les di forma y medio las pulí...y ahora están más brillantes que antes. Y con eso de que mi voz, mi cuerpo y mi apariencia están cambiando para mostrar un yo más...yo...creo que me siento un poco más libre de ser yo misma, pero todavía tengo limitaciones de control.

Igual pasa en el canto .___. Dicen que tengo una voz bonita, que mi voz es fácil porque es agradable como sea que cante...pero la cosa es sacarla para entonces pulirla y que sea...uniforme y congruente con el trabajo. No sé. Me encanta mi voz cuando canto, pero me da tanta pena cajetearla que...por eso no la dejo salir bien. Aunque supongo que tendré que hacerlo. Realmente quiero disfrutarlo y hacerlo bien y avanzar rápido porque cantar siempre me ha gustado...y quiero hacerlo bien. No. No quiero hacerlo bien. Quiero ser la mejor. La mejor de las sopranos... Y quiero lograrlo ;^;9

También quería escribir y me deprimí el viernes pasado porque me enteré que el cuento que mandé a concurso no ganó ni una "méndiga" mención honorífica u.u Lloré...porque de lo único de lo que siempre había estado segura en mi vida era de que quería escribir. Y, como ahora no he escrito nada que valga la pena (más que el cuento que envié y el 23 de agosto cumple un año), he perdido un poco la esperanza en eso y me pone muy triste. Pero el lunes pude escribir mucho acerca de Karma. Y me sentí bien y contenta :') Aunque también algo drenada X_x XD Y bueno...no voy a mejorar si no hago el intento, ¿no? Me he puesto a leer de nuevo para recuperar el feeling, tunear mi estilo y sigo tratando de imaginar y de escribir :) Pero ya no quiero escribir sobre relaciones amorosas u.u Quiero hacer algo más... Algo distinto. Soy tan mala en lo demás u.u Con práctica, con práctica... La práctica hace maravillas, espero >3> No quiero dejar de escribir. No quiero dejarlo de lado porque amo escribir y ese fue mi primer acercamiento con las artes u.u Y bueno...siempre me ha gustado la música y así, pero no quiero dejar de escribir ;^;

Lo frustrante de la vida es que, muchas veces, las cosas no salen como esperas que salgan. Y que, a veces, no sabes si eso es bueno o malo. Lo gracioso es que esos cambios siempre terminan llevándote a donde debes estar. Me pregunto si realmente este es mi camino en la vida...porque es algo que jamás me imaginé haciendo: dando la cara .____. Siempre me vi detrás de una computadora, de una oficina, de un nom du plume, de una editorial, del atril, del micrófono...nunca en un escenario. Quizá eso es lo que debo hacer en esta vida: dar la cara por lo que estoy haciendo .___. Y me aterra. Pero si eso ha de ser, entonces será u.u Y estoy dispuesta :)9

Light lyric/ lyric sopranos...

...Or aspiration, motivation, push XD

My singing teacher told me: "Sneaky, your homework is to look for Kathleen Battle and listen to all the songs you can find sang by her". So I did and I found these:

This one too because I couldn't find it in the stupid youtube insert thingy

And then she said: "Oh, look for Mirella Freni too!"  I did it and I found these:

The point of this was to find some kind of example for me to follow because my voice is supposed to be more or less like theirs (not exactly, of course. They are two of the best sopranos ever), meaning I could reach the some of their tunes and all that...obviously after being properly trained and so.

So yeah. Motivation... Obviously, I need to work harder orz

Sleeping little by little .___.

Gee, I got so scared today XD

It was a great day, tho XD My dubbing teacher told me I was really good at giving the intention needed to the characters I played and synchronizing my voice with the image on the screen... The only thing I need to do is find other ways to make my voice a lot more versatile. I think it is great. I only need to put a lot into it and I'm sure I'll manage to do something interesting :)

Then, my acting teacher asked me whether I could help his group playing a small character for the next exam (which is due next week .____.). I have no problem doing it, but I suddenly got stupidly stressed, it got hard to see and my head started aching :D

As I came home, when I was about to get down the bus, I couldn't feel my left hand's index and middle finger. And, as I went to the mart to get things for dinner, they kinda reacted but, when I tried to take out the money from my pocket to pay for the stuff I was taking, my ring and pinky fingers went numb and I couldn't move them. I was so scared I almost ran because I didn't wanna pass out or something on my way back.

My head kept pounding like hell and I went to sleep .___. It still aches a tad bit.

I think I should be sleeping a bit more and don't pull unnecessary all-nighters because they seem to be destroying my nervous system little by little .___.

So, yeah. I'm going to school tomorrow again in order to help my teacher with his play. And I haven't memorized those lines yet, even when they're quite easy and short.

But at least I got to know my character :) That makes it easier, I guess :D

Next is my last Japanese week. On May 28th I've my final exam and on June 3rd I have to pick up my grade. I hope to do well u.u I'd love to be able to keep up with it ;^; Because I think I'm not that bad and I need to learn Japanese to be happy in life (yeah, it's a matter of self-compliance and self-satisfaction and happiness. That's why it means so much to me) u.u

*sigh*

I need to say it here...

...because whenever I say things like these at home all I seem to get myself are bitter remarks on: "what-will-you-do-with-your-life? :VV" and I'm kinda sick of it already...

(It ain't as though I ain't trying, but I don't wanna be a fucking journalist and all the betas I try to reach are like...unreachable...or they seem to be that way. Why are you doing this to me, world?! TOT Why can't you make me happy sending me a job I like? u.u Please do so in May ;^;)

Anyways, here's the thing :3  I'm really happy now because:

* My sensei told me I've a pretty voice and that she thinks I can be a seiyuu with no problem XD

* I had a vocabulary workshop and my friends kept showing me off in front of the teachers .___. One was boasting about my English (which, as you know, ain't as good) and the other one was telling them how good I was at kanji in Japanese...and the other one agreed .___. We had lots of fun because we learnt strategies and ways to increase our vocabularies in different languages such as English, Japanese, German and Portuguese :D And it was awesome~ <3

* I didn't have Japanese class today. Instead, we had a kanji workshop in the afternoon XD And it was great because I saw the teacher who helped me in my attempts of studying first level japanese on my own (K san). I thought she wouldn't remember me (not only because it's been like...4 years since I last saw her, but also because I've changed my hair style and stuff), but once, when she had time to, she came near me and whispered: "ひさしぶり" and I was like: "!!! :DDD ひさしぶりですね!" and I was so stupidly happy about her remembering me :')

* Then, when the workshop ended, I stood stupidly near all the senseis (because there were three: one was this one I'm talking about and one of the others was my current sensei) and, as we wen't out the classroom, K san told my sensei that she met me before and my sensei told her I'm a good student and that I tried too hard to keep learning on my own...and K san said the same...and then Y sensei came in too (because she was at the vocabulary workshop yesterday) and agreed with them and I felt so... *insert keyboard smash here* >//////<

* K san and me walked down the stairs together. And she asked me in which level I was...and blahblah...we talked and talked and I told her how happy I was (because I truly, really was) of seeing her again and all...and...she repeated how good she thought I was...and I was so thankful and overwhelmed and happy that I still can't get over it ;^;

So, that's why I'm sharing it here...because I only told people here what happened yesterday...and well... u.u I just wanted to write it somewhere, I guess u.u

Am leaving now because my shita no otouto says my eyes look terrible .___. And I don't really feel that good, physically @_@ XD

I'm so bad at keeping up with blogs XD

I'm so sorry. Really. I know no one reads me but myself, but I'm still sorry. I should be more eager at writing this thing. But there are sometimes I just can't bring myself to do it XD

Anyways: life's been quite nice :3 I'm so obsessed with Sherlock right now and I've already started dubbing classes as in...formally, I guess XD We started practising with a thingie called Rastamouse (about three or four episodes), then an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and we've started with Friends' finale, part one XD

I don't like Friends that much, if I must be completely and absolutely honest. But practise is practise, I suppose. And it was great fun because today there were only two girls (a younger girl and me) and, since there are many female characters here, we ended up practising lots ^^

But I almost hyperventilated because I was dubbing a pregnant woman's reactions right when she entered labour...so...they had to record me in a different channel because one of the boys kept getting it wrong...and I was starting to feel dizzy when I had to redo the take. My legs failed me when I did the second scene X_x XD I had to do it as fast and best as I could...so I didn't have to repeat it all over and faint there .___. XD But it was interesting XD

Of course, those aren't going to be broadcasted because they're only meant to be used as scholastic material XDDD

As for my singing classes, I finally managed to reach that freaking G that was giving me problems. And I was so absurdly happy over it that I even drew it XD I must say I can't really say how happy it makes me to be able to release my voice (I still have it a little trapped in there, but it's kinda coming out and I must confess...I very much like what I hear :9). I'm also able to sing Snow White's "Someday My Prince Will Come" decently and also "Love Those Beams", which is, I think, a baroque opera or something like that :3

This is my drawing~ XD Yeah, new haircut :3 Kinda love it <3

I'll start singing about two more small baroque opera pieces next Tuesday...and I might finally get the musical comedy song I'll be singing for the concert next...October, November? I dunno.

It's so much fun and I enjoy this so much. It's so amazing to hear sounds you never ever in your life thought would leave your mouth. I'm so happy, so thankful. And, modesty apart, I really do like what I hear coming from me~ :3

Let's see whether I'll be able to overcome my stage fright and manage to sing at the concert at all .___. LOL

As for Japanese...it's ridiculous how happy I am about that. I'm trying my best and it seems as though I'm being able to bring out results to light XD

The only thing I'm worrying about now is...well...money >3>

I need to find myself a job T^T But everytime I send any CV...no one answers back and I start feeling kinda useless here.

I don't want to end up being a journalist because I really don't like that life. It scares me so much. I won't be able to cope with it and I'll be so miserable .___. I sometimes feel my CV ain't appealing enough and that saddens me. I need to look for things that would help me improve there. But how can I when they ask you for experience no one's willing to give? I've been some sort of freelancer there for about two years at school...but I dunno how much that counts and it makes me feel uneasy. I need to be behind a desk...correcting texts, editing things...looking for interesting projects in order to publish them, convince people to do so, looking for fonts, types of papers, inks...colours... *creys in a corner* I want to be an editor as badly as I want to be a voice actress T^T9

And finish my thesis. I also want that. But my tutor's kinda disappeared...and I'm starting to get kinda anxious here.

*sigh* Those are the only turn downs. But I guess that might be because it isn't the time to do those things just yet ;^;

:)

I'm also waiting for Star Trek: Into Darkness because of this:

(I'm being honest here, don't hate me! >3> *runs away*) And also because of all the explosions, sci-fi, spaceships blowing up in the middle of the sky, derranged chaos and destruction taking over our planet and neverending action package it promises to be :9 (Have you watched the trailers? Hm-mh!) And also because Harrison san seems to have an epic one-on-one battle with Spock san coughcoughoverKirkcoughwut...and it'll certainly be worth seeing XD

Less than a month now for it :9 °((>w<))° May 10th here~ :9 I'm saving money in order to watch it in IMAX...and THREEEEEEEDEEEEEEEEEEEE :VVV Because I need to see if I get a lot more excited about it that way XD

So, yeah. That's life now :3

Also, April's an important month for birthdays as well~ :3 I already said it but: Happy 20th, Kuro huuuuun~! I love you lots~ :3

Next birthdays'll be coming as the month wanes XD :3

Sneaky, your four and your Disney princess are showing...

I know I said I was updating last Friday... But nothing much happened until now XD

First, I must say I do enjoy my Japanese class. It's pretty amazing! °((>w<))° I thought I was going to be way behind all those who had taken first level last semester with that teacher...but I'm pretty much fine XD But I sometimes get the impression some of my classmates think I know way more than I actually do u.u

I'm really happy, tho :DD Even when I get something wrong, I don't feel bad and just feel the will to keep learning to be better at it :3 It's been long since I last felt this way towards something related to school u.u

Second, I'm taking singing classes. And I feel so happy~ <3 But my teacher told me my voice is absolutely light and sweetens as it goes higher...which, immediately, made me think of a Disney princess or something. And it was something like that, actually...because she gave me the score of Someday My Prince Will Come of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. I feel animals will come to me as soon as I open my mouth and start singing XD

There's this high-pitched note I dunno if I'll be able to hold... .______. I'll also be singing some barroque operas :D I'm slightly scared :D But quite excited too! °((>w<))°

And third...I've declared this year'll be the Guajiro Dreams Year :DDD Where I'll be making them come true :DDD I'm gonna do my best about it :3

Anyway, that's all I had to say =w=

Bonus:

Can you please explain me how are you so damn attractive? >/////< Damn, mister! >''<

Yeah, that means I like him much already >//3//>

And this XDD

I have a mighty need for this thing now XDDD Kid!Loki with his Stark Phone XDDDD

New things and I feel rather old XD

I'm starting Japanese classes tomorrow. It's weird because it's gonna be so different. And it's the only thing I'm gonna do. I'm sorta scared, y'know? It's been quite long since I last had a language class .____. I hope I still have the flavour. Might post my first week experience by Friday or something. I dunno. I feel old because I'm certain most of my classmates will be younger people and I don't tend to get along them...or with many people of my age, actually .____. (There are happy exceptions of course u.ub) Oh, the youth! .____.

I spent the night at my amore's house. I wanted to leave before night came, but I failed epically, so... No XD And we talked and LOL'd and were quite happy. I dunno . I felt somehow free. I feel like that every time I am with him. It's as though I can totally be myself when he's around. That's the magic of my Orion's belt *le sigh* I love them so much~ <3 I'm really, truly pleased :3

We watched Big Time Rush together and he was laughing way too much with me XD

In other news:

I'm kinda...not nostalgic. I dunno how I am. I don't feel down, but I've been kinda bringing back memories and stuff...but I won't do anything about it. I think it's OK to remember things and feel pleased or sweetly moved about them and just let them rush through you and leave. I feel I'm in some kind of pause again, but memories are surrounding me and I see them and smile at them, but I don't feel I miss that person per se. I just feel I miss our friendship...but not that person...as in...I wouldn't want to see them because it'd be quite awkward. Is it weird? XD

Anyways, bonus:

This mini song!comic by Reapersun @ tumblr. I loved that song ;^; So many feels T_T And the comic art's just gorgeous u.u Sherlock related, so... But I think you may get it anyways u.u

The Game Is On

The game is so on right now. It's in times like these when you realise how much of an adult you're supposed to be already u.u

What I do know about that is this: I'm so not one and I don't think I'm ready to do whatever I am supposed to do or what's expected of me as an adult...but I'll surely do my best. And, since people say I'm good at acting, I'm going to act as though I know what I'm doing, as Neil Gaiman said, and I'll make good art of my life :)

In other news, yesterday was the first anniversary of my grandpa's death. There are moments when his memory seems to linger in the air. Last week I dreamt of him...and he was crying. But mum and my youngest brother say they dreamt of him too and he was nice and happy. I dunno. Maybe my unconscious is pushing my angst to conciousness and picturing it with him ^^;

Anyways, gonna do my best to keep up >w<9

Just thinking about my future again XD

I'm still alive XD

Yeah, I am. Just posting here for you to know that. Not many things have happened. Most of them have to do with my acting class and growing nostalgia... I've been watching movies, reading and not doing much. I think we won't be celebrating Xmas here in the nest... Or, at least, not a very merry one. Dunno. The feeling here's kinda down and it makes me sad.

I need money too u.u Haven't got much... I'm slightly worried about that. Need to find myself a job already.

On the bright side, Karu gave me the first (and maybe only) Xmas gifts of this year. And I feel all shitty because I think I won't be able to get her something. There are people I wanna see, but I might not be able to because of the lack of money again. Fecking money, why do we all need you so much? And why aren't you here? ¬¬ You piss me off to no end, but don't go away. Because I fecking need you.

I'm trying to wake up my manliness... But unfortunately, my femininity seems to be rising instead :I At least when I dress myself D: XD I hate that. I hate the damsel in distress role. I don't think (and I don't want to think) it goes well with me. I need to let go of certain things, but stupid nostalgia and Twitter doesn't help much, so I'm thinking whether I should just shut that bloody thing down. For my own good XD

Don't think I haven't been checking your blog, Kuro hun. I'll comment on every single post you've uploaded as soon as...I dunno XD But, mark my words, I will! XD

On a side-note:

I started watching Sherlock about two weeks ago. On Wednesday I finally managed to watch the first episode complete. Then I watched the second one...and started the third one. Yesterday I watched the fourth and part of the fifth. I finished watching it all tonight and-I-fecking-loved-it. I really, REALLY did. I might review it here. I'm not good at reviewing stuff, but I have a mighty need to do this because it's worth commenting and discussing and all. Although...don't expect much since I suck so much at doing that...and at English too, so...

Bonus :DDD

In order to commemorate this new acquisition, here's this, from geothebio @ tumblr XD

I need to go the fuck to sleep too XD

She's got tickets to her own show...

But she doesn't want any of them to go-o-o~

Changed the lyrics XD

A-ny-ways.

Saturday's exam was great :DDD Well, at least it was...I dunno if "better-than-expected"'s the phrase I'm looking for, but yeah... Something like that XDDD

I managed to wake up when I had to (6:30 am, saturday morning X_x) and then I proceeded to "smart" myself up (which, in this case, means: Take a shower, put clothes on, brush your teeth and leave the building). Right before I ran through the door, my mum came out, with her bed-face still put, tried to smile and asked me: "You're already leaving? :D" I obviously answered "yeah :)" and she then told me: "Do your best, sweetie. Text me once you've done great :D" I smiled truthfully, hugged her, kissed her head and then left. She wanted to go and also did my dad but, in the end, they told me they wouldn't go because they didn't want me to be nervous u.u

When I arrived, my friend B was outside with her boyfriend. We chatted for a while and then the teachers got there too. We stayed downstairs and B gave me a yogurt because I was  starving and I didn't want my angry stomach to rawr in the middle of the play D: Then, V came and we went upstairs in order to get ready.

And so we did. It was such a show at that moment D: My classmates had to wear special make up to look like...dead people. And I had to look as though I just went out of the morgue ._____. Which means: make up... A LOT of it. I dunno how to make up... So I was waiting as everyone were busy with their own faces...until B came to rescue me...right after she had to comb and dress another girl's hair...which...wasn't really nice because her hair was dirty and stuff u.u

Anyways, the two hours we had to get ourselves ready ran absurdly fast D: Suddenly, all the people that went to see the exam were there and we were all frustrated and tired XDDD But we entered the room (it is a room indeed XD) and we started. Since I was the last one to enter, I waited outside and repeated all my friends' lines. At least the ones I knew by heart...not all of them. Surprisingly, I didn't feel nervous or anything. I didn't even go over my lines all over again. I was just so sure they would come to me as soon as I went in...because, happily, Lidia's intervention is quite smooth. So, yeah...

I took my glasses off and the place was quite dark because we were supposed to be inside a crypt, so I think that also helped XDDD

After we finished, they asked us to repeat the play for the people who didn't make it into the room... Legend says the school's headmistress was on the verge of tears at the end of it. So we did it again, right after the choir exam and the dubbing exam. And it went even better than the first one. The dubbing teacher told us he was nicely surprised because we managed to make him feel all the angst and drama and all that in his chest. So, he was happy because that was the point.

When he went near me, he hugged me (he always does when I see and greet him, but this time he did it way too tightly) and said: "You were amazing. You almost made me cry... Really, thank you. You were great...". I was happy because he's been an actor for more than 30 years...and he studied at one of the most prestigious drama school's here in my country... I was so honoured. I didn't see him staying any longer with any of my classmates... I felt special >//3//>

Then, photosphotosphotosphotos, smiles, tears, comments, congrats, stuff... B was amazing. She was my mother in the play :3 But she also helped us all with our outfits and make-up and everything. And she also, obviously, acted. She's an amazing person u.u

After we took off the make-up and the outfits we were wearing for the play and also managed to clean up all our mess, we left. Before that, we went and said good-bye to all the others. When I went to the dubbing teacher, he said, again, that I surprised him way too much. I think he was in awe because these were my first three months there (most of the cast had been there for like...six months already)... And...well, he doesn't know this, but it's true: I've never really acted in my whole life. Only in silly primary school plays...where I was Michael Archangel (always) and my greatest accomplishment was kicking the devil's ass (which also happened to be the boy I liked back then =w= XD). The only thing I've done is giving light-hearted, silly "shows" to my friends whenever I start talking...and reading novels, fanfiction and my own writing out loud...just because. And also because I love impersonating people and random movie-cartoon-anime-stuff characters...so...yeah.

After that, B told me I owned the play...and that she realized, that week, that she was jealous of me ._____. Then I told her not to be because she was AWESOME. And we both still needed to improve a lot u.u It's true. I admire her way too much u.u 

That somehow scares me ._____.

She also asked me not to leave this because she'd love to see me acting and stuff... And also whether I could teach English to the girl that's teaching her to sing, so she could teach me how to sing too... She's an opera singer ._____. XD

I sometimes think she's kinda pushy and bossy... But truth is...I'd love to learn how to sing :'DD But I can't teach anything to save my life, so... XDDD And I like B way too much :3 She's sweet and nice and caring~ XD

*sigh*

It's kinda sad because they're leaving to the next module and I'm gonna be alone (well, there'll be like...three classmates there...the ones that entered the class when I did... But my friends were the ones who are leaving  now u.u). There should be new people too...but I dunno u.u Obviously, it won't be the same u.u

Then we went to drink coffee and celebrate and it was nice ^w^ And I...somehow felt guilty because I somehow didn't let my parents attend the exam u.u *sigh*

On Sunday, E, another friend, uploaded some vids of the presentation... I linked Karu to them and she told me she liked the way my voice sounded very much. She was...somehow...overwhelmed... .____. I think she knows what she's talking about because she's seen this play like...thousands of times before, so... Then I showed two of those vids to my mum and she said she didn't recognise me at first...and less she did when I started talking. She said my voice sounded different. My dad says he felt something in his chest when he heard me talking the way I did... Even my brothers thought I was great...and that I really didn't sound like myself at all...

I guess that's a good thing... ^^;

But I've still got to improve a lot more u.u I won't get stuck! >''<9

Random notes...

* I feel so confident lately...and that makes me feel happy :3

* My thesis teacher hasn't sent me anything yet u.u

* SID's newest single's finally out. I got it like a week ago... I LOVED the B-side, as I tend to do. And I truly do believe it relates way too much to my Karma stuff ;^; *creys* (aka: she tried to translate it). Might put it here, someday...

* I might start Japanese next January...and another language. I dunno whether I should choose romanian or russian XD

* I've been back to Twitter... But I still don't feel all good when I twit u.u I'm still feeling slightly uncomfortable. But I don't feel as bad as I used to when I saw them both twitting to each other. Also, I'm still feeling impatient. But I still think it's not time yet...

* I got my driving license this morning =w= XDDD

...and bonus :P

VINCENT PHANTOMHIVE!!!! :VVVV From Kuroshitsuji =w= Sorry. I dunno why, but I love this character. Although...he doesn't really appear much because he's dead ._____. But when he appears in  flashbacks, I tend to have these fangirl attacks and stuff... XDDD Here you have him~ =w= In all his school boy splendor~ <3 XDDD

Am gonna keep it up and I'm doing my best to improve lots more! I feel so inspired to do that~ :3

And...this is about to end, I guess...

Et je me sens mieux...

Today is the last day of the semester :D School's official Twitter account already bid farewell to our generation. I sent my teacher the first two chapters of my graduation project last night and I had my last beloved MNM class. It was quite fun :D Although I was kinda tired and I kept yawning u.u

And then...

Tomorrow's my first acting exam. And I'm kinda...uneasy =A= Ha...haha...ha. I do know all my lines, but I still feel like that. I guess that's normal... My teacher told me it was good that I felt all nervous because that meant I was in the right place. I guess...that means you need to be over-sensitive for these kinda things .____.

But I don't really like to feel that bad D:

I say so because I was so nervous the first day I played Lidia (not when I read her part, but when I already knew she was mine) that, when I came back to the nest, my head hurt like hell, I threw up and I went to sleep at 7:30 pm... =______=

Next day I was quite alright .______. I just hope I can do a good job u.u They told us we'd have professional voice actors in the audience... *dies*

Also...

It's been two months already. Last Wednesday, actually. Ha...haha *sigh* I must say I feel a lot better. And I'm somehow impatient. But I don't wanna push things. I somehow feel it's not time... Not yet. Then, I start feeling anxious and feeling I need to talk to her again because...she might not like me anymore whenever I decide it is the right time to come back. But then I tell myself it might be that...my time's been over for eight months already...

And then Tú comes and hits my head... And tells me to mind my own business for now and that time will come if it ever has to. And if it doesn't, then it's also OK. We did our best as long as we were there and as much as we could and we need to follow the winds of change XDDD

Maybe he's right. I feel this mighty need of being my life's main character for once (yeah, I thought I was the secondary character and the only reason I was here was to help other people out. But lately, there's been  this impatience in Tú telling me I need to take this more seriously u.u)... I should be starting already.

...And she just faved the twit I retwited from my school .____. Hahaha... Ha >3>

And I can't write decently well anymore ;^; *creys manly tears of sorrow*

*sigh*

Bonus! :D

'Pool... Because he's awesome and I love him and he always makes me feel better even if his own life's horrible u.u :)

Wish me luck ;^; XD I should be sleeping already .______. XD

Just for the record...

My brother called me "gay" today.

My granny called me "queer" today too.

My brother called me "gay android" today when I came back from my granny's house because I was wearing an Android t-shirt with a pink bow on top of its head.

And I remembered this:

It's right at the end. But, yeah. You may watch it all if you'd like XD It's hilarious XD

Was today the National Let's-All-Talk-About-Rincon's-sexual-inclination Day and I wasn't aware of that? XDDDD

On a side note...

I've already learned all my lines~ :BBB XD

Things are happening... XD

So, here we are... In the blooming flower of our youth, with a whole path ahead of us and then...

Suddenly you don't really know what you gonna do XD

I always knew I wanted to write. I also knew I wanted to do something with my voice. Not that my voice is amazing, but I was keen on that. Then I stated I would write...but also correct and edit other people's work. I also wanted to learn to play (or at least listen carefully) music... 

I'm not saying I'm gonna act for a living, because...I still dunno why all this is happening. But the fact that this is another door opening makes me feel kinda encouraged and happy :3 That means I'm not as useless as I thought I was :3

*sigh*

I'll explain myself because I wanna XDDD

Two weeks ago, I went to my acting class, as I always do XDDD But we were out of people because...well, we assumed that it was because semester's near to its end and people are getting busy. We didn't have enough people to cover up all the characters in the main play we're rehearsing. So, my teacher told me: "You're gonna play Lidia today..." Lidia's like...the main character of that play. And I was like: "But I'm Eva... You sure?" He told me not to worry and to do as I was told. So... I entered as Eva, I said my line as I always did... And then came back as Lidia (because she appears later on). When I started acting as Lidia...I could hear my teacher mumbling: "This is so touching..." but I didn't say anything or reacted in any visible way. I just snorted quietly and went on. Of course, I had to read the whole thing, but I tried my best to put some inflections and motion to whatever I said.

So, as we finished, he told us to go and sit so we could talk about the rehearsal. As I went to my place, a friend told me: "You should change and play Lidia! You were amazing!" I only laughed and told her: "Well, go and tell that to the teacher! XD" and then I added: "No. Thank you very much for your words, but she's Itza's and I really am in love with Eva :)" And then the teacher came and told me:

"You did an incredible job at this. You gave the character a whole new personality, your voice tunes, the way you acted. I even think they (my classmates) felt a lot more comfy with you. You're showing me that...you could've done whatever part I would've given you...whether it was the old lady, the girl...even a man. You really do have a knack for acting. I really think so. Now you're putting me in a difficult situation because I gave you the foreign woman because you could do the accent at the moment I asked you to do it. But it'd be unfair for the girl who's playing Lidia for real, so...I'm sorry. I'm not giving you this part. But you really did a good job at this and I'm sure you can do whatever I ask you to... Thank you".

And I was all happy because he didn't take Eva from me XD

The rest of the class were my friends telling me how much they enjoyed my Lidia interpretation...and me thanking them... One of them (the same girl who told me she would've wanted me to play that character from now on) told me it was the first time she actually felt the angst in Lidia. And I told her that...maybe...just maybe that was because the other girl gave the impression she didn't know what she was saying. Meaning: she didn't fully comprehend Lidia.

So. That happened that day.

Last weekend I dreamt about the play and I was slightly uneasy. I somehow felt that part was meant to be mine... But I thought I was overthinking everything, as I often do. And I still love Eva D: So, I tried not to think much about that anymore.

But yesterday, I was...in a hurry. I wanted to write as much as I could of my thesis work because I thought I wouldn't have time to write today. Then I told myself: "But you don't have school tomorrow"... But I still felt sure I was going to have things to do today.

And today came my teacher's mail telling me he was giving me that part... But I think that's because the girl who was playing it won't come back. So, the main character's mine. And I'm gonna miss Eva ;^; I couldn't do much today because I was trying to learn her lines by heart u.u And also because a stupid silly mountain of dishes waited for me to wash them...and because mum wanted me to stay with her u.u

So, yeah! :D It's weird to be told you are good at something you first thought you sucked at. But I really am trying my best and I think people can tell, so... I'm glad and thankful for that :3

Bonus:

I think Bram Stoker would die again if he knew that tomorrow, a day after his 165th birthday, will be Breaking Dawn's opening night.

I'd like to kill all the twilighters, tho =w=

Nevertheless, happy 165th birthday, Mr Stoker. You were irish and a writer...and you wrote Dracula. I love you.

And this:

Here is a story to break your heart...

...Are you willing?

*creys*

Journey into Mystery #645 ;^; I found them at tumblr. I read the last 5 numbers and I was all ;^; half the time *creys more* Kid!Loki rocks ;^;

I want a copy of #645, because the art is beautiful. But I think there are none here ._____.

Creepy inspiration...I guess XD

I suddenly got inspired...and started writing stupid stuff ._____. You know...like quotes, but not quite, 'cos they're mine and all... But they were kinda angsty XDDD

So, yeah. I think it must be the atmosphere. You know...Halloween and stuff.

I'm planning to go visit the Día de Muertos ofrendas at CU with my family. But I dunno if it'll be possible u.u I'll bring photos if I can, tho :D

Anyways, Happy Halloween, everyone~! :3

Today there's no bonus...because I'm tired XD

This was it :)

I'm uncontrollably excited XDDD

I finally told her what I felt... And she apologised and she explained... Not that she actually had to. But she told me nice things and that lifted that damn heavy weight from my back and my heart and all ;^; I'm so happy. I think I haven't felt like this ever since last year *creys*

So, let's keep this thing up! I'm happy, happy and uncontrollably excited. Things are getting better and I have to keep that up, no matter how hard it seems!

My acting teacher told me he thinks I'm good at acting. I don't think so myself, but it's good to know people like whatever silly things I come up with. He's not the only one. Friends there have told me the same. I dunno...

I'm gonna miss them when they leave for next module ;^; I'm gonna stay with my younger classmates...and I dunno if I am excited because of that.

I need to start, seriously, with that thesis now >3> Time's almost up! TOT

Mah, we'll sort it out somehow :BBB

Bonus! :DDD

Because it's funny. And I loved that hand XDDD

Light, light, light~

Light. Light as bright as I haven't seen in weeks appeared right before me today.

And I also felt lighter XD

Oh, irony. Who would've said I would have such a promising career in something I never really considered myself to be good at? XDDD

Who would've said you, among all people, would make me feel better? But not the way one would imagine XDDD

I'm such a bitch, really D: Sometimes... But what else do you want me to do? When I don't feel like doing stuff, then I don't feel like doing it and that's it. Same happens with longing...

There's something rotten in here...

And someone told me they thought me a mezzo D: XD Weird XDDD I've always thought my voice's way too light D:

*le sigh* Let's keep this up and see how much it lasts.

Btw, INSONA UPDATED!!! :DDDDDD

OMG! After a year or so of no update...here it came!

Today couldn't've been better, I tell ya :BBB

I dunno what to think lately XDDD

* My Acting teacher asked me whether I wanted to join his professional acting group XDDD

* My SS coordinator told me that, in the four years she's been in charge of that office, she had never been given an absolutely, perfectly spelled report and she congratulated me because of that.

I dunno what to think because...

* I've only been in that acting class for three days XDDD I think he only told me that because he somehow likes me and feels comfy with me... I'm quoting XDDD I like him. He's a nice person, but I ...dunno XD And maybe he told me so because he was drunk at the moment XDDD

* But my boss told me I should stop asking myself too much and go with the flow, because he must've told me that for a reason. Not only because he likes me...or was drunk XD

As for the second question...

* I dunno whether I should feel honoured...or feel sorry for all the people that have been through that place...before me XDDD

Lala~ C'est la vie, c'est la vie~ :3

Random stuff:

I opened a birthday gift today. Not yours, Kuro. Of course not. I'm being able to restrain myself from doing that! >w<9 Nope. It was Karu's :3

Here:

The Neverending Story by Michael Ende :3 It's special because it's her favourite book. Well, not this edition XDDD But you know, the story and all and the edition she bought :3 And it's as though she's given me a little part of herself to have with me for life XD

That's all I wanted to say for now XDD :3

I dunno what to put here, so just...yeah XD

Aaaah! *sigh*

I had my second dubbing class...and my Acting teacher told us what he wanted us to do for our exam on November: we're gonna do "A solid home", by Elena Garro (an AWESOME mexican writer) XDDD I thought I wasn't gonna make it into the play...but, somehow, I did. I'll be a foreign woman and I have to talk in a french accent. I knew I was gonna get the french girl u.u Somehow, people like it when I speak with an accent (by "people" I mean my younger brother and some friends XD).

So, I hope to do a good work. I won't be a main character because I'm a newbie and all, but I find myself really pleased with this u.u 

I'm kinda nervous though =___= I've only got 15 days to memorize it >x< And I'll need a blonde wig .____.

I also read that, somewhere in my city, there'll be a presentation of Shakespeare's Hamlet...but this Hamlet will be played by a girl! °((>w<))° Somebody take me there T^T I NEED to see that ;^; XD

I'm starting to get myself up to date with my french course and I realised I work a lot better when I plan a schedule for work and stuff. So, I might just keep it up that way XDD

...I've also been thinking how much of a Virgo I can actually be .____. Maybe it's the age...

Also, I can't believe I've already got 9 drabbles and that I haven't been missing any of them Ö I'm so proud of myself XDDD 

As for today's drabble... I'll do my best to do it some justice >''<9

Last week, I went to the cinema, alone, for the first time in my whole life u.u It was pretty nice...although I still rather go accompanied to discuss the film afterwards u.u I should write something about that movie, tho. It wasn't that good (at least for my taste), but I kinda enjoyed the soundtrack very much :B XD

Speaking of movies, I also watched "Christopher and his kind" last night and I must say I liked it lots! :D  Not only because of the gay stuff (which, truth be told, was the main reason for me to watch it u.u)...but also because of the story itself and the way it was filmed. I dunno... I liked it very much. And I think...I've developed some kind of weird, intrigue feeling about Matt Smith's facial features ._______.

And I also think he's a funny guy XDDD

I wanted to share something else, but I can't remember clearly .____. Oh! We'll have a mexican party at Dubbing School on Saturday :D Because Sunday's Mexican Independence Day and all that XDDD I'm just happy because of the food...and classes! :D *shoots herself* I confess I'm enjoying them way too much XDDD I'm happy because of that :3 Sad (or thoughtful, more like) because of reasons, but happy because of this =w=

And:

I'm putting this here, since I'm kinda sick of no pics on these entries =w= Monkey Orchid! SO AWESOME!! °((>w<))°

Lalala~