Because I am proud of this~

Here's my Lara~ :3 I'm happy because I hadn't been able to draw or write about her. And, suddenly, I was able to do so yesterday and today I drew this :3 I'm proud because she looks pretty.

She's my OC and all that ^^

Sleeping little by little .___.

Gee, I got so scared today XD

It was a great day, tho XD My dubbing teacher told me I was really good at giving the intention needed to the characters I played and synchronizing my voice with the image on the screen... The only thing I need to do is find other ways to make my voice a lot more versatile. I think it is great. I only need to put a lot into it and I'm sure I'll manage to do something interesting :)

Then, my acting teacher asked me whether I could help his group playing a small character for the next exam (which is due next week .____.). I have no problem doing it, but I suddenly got stupidly stressed, it got hard to see and my head started aching :D

As I came home, when I was about to get down the bus, I couldn't feel my left hand's index and middle finger. And, as I went to the mart to get things for dinner, they kinda reacted but, when I tried to take out the money from my pocket to pay for the stuff I was taking, my ring and pinky fingers went numb and I couldn't move them. I was so scared I almost ran because I didn't wanna pass out or something on my way back.

My head kept pounding like hell and I went to sleep .___. It still aches a tad bit.

I think I should be sleeping a bit more and don't pull unnecessary all-nighters because they seem to be destroying my nervous system little by little .___.

So, yeah. I'm going to school tomorrow again in order to help my teacher with his play. And I haven't memorized those lines yet, even when they're quite easy and short.

But at least I got to know my character :) That makes it easier, I guess :D

Next is my last Japanese week. On May 28th I've my final exam and on June 3rd I have to pick up my grade. I hope to do well u.u I'd love to be able to keep up with it ;^; Because I think I'm not that bad and I need to learn Japanese to be happy in life (yeah, it's a matter of self-compliance and self-satisfaction and happiness. That's why it means so much to me) u.u

*sigh*

So...shall we begin?

Sweet baby Jesus in his cradle!

I'm not a trekkie, you know it. All I know are generalities. I've never been too much into space stories and all that. And yes, I accept it, my first motivation to watch this was Benedict Cumberbatch as the villain. 

Then, as time passed, my friend Al kept me informed about recent trailers and marketing stuff regarding the movie and I found myself being genuinely excited over this. And then she bought the first film because she didn't find where to watch it again (she does like Star Trek, for the record. The series and all) and then lent it to me so I could watch too (I did XD And I enojoyed it much~) and even helped me register to a special free screening last week's Wednesday...to which I didn't attend to because it was way too late at night, too far from home, right in the middle of the week, I still dunno how to drive properly, we had no car and shit happened the whole week, so...yeah.

She did go, tho, and she was really pleased. But, God bless her, she didn't spoil anything :)

Then, on Friday, it finally was opening night and D chan spoiled something and I was like RAEG :V!! and stuff. I couldn't go that very day because it was Mother's Day here and I was expecting to spend it with my mum (she left to check on my grandma and we spent the day cleaning and making dinner and all that .___.#).

So, yeah. Since we're in some kind of economic hardship right now, I didn't want to push it. I confess I did my best, I tried hard...so hard...but FUCK IT! I was so excited to watch it and I wanted to so much that I ended up making up money outta nowhere and, on Saturday, I finally went and watched it on my own (by this time, I was already engaged with Al to watch it on Sunday but, truth be told, I could hardly wait much longer). Obviously, I did go on Sunday as well and I plan to go, at least, a third time to watch it in 4DX

So, here we go. My impressions about it (I think I won't spoil anything...I'll come back here and change this if I get to say something important plot-wise. But I tend to talk more about performances and music and how much I liked it, so...I think there'll be nothing to worry about here. OK, some spoilers might be ahead, but they aren't that big of a deal):

I'm trying to be unbiased here XD

So! We all knew, because of the trailers and such, that this was gonna be packed with action and funny bits and absolutely intense, feelings crushers =w= Well, if you expected that to happen (as I did), you're absolutely in for a treat XD Star Trek: Into Darkness is a rollercoaster. You laugh, you get to the edge of your seat, you cheer for the good guys, of course, and enjoy them being their absolutely AWESOMESAUCE (for instance: Suuuuuluuuuuu as capitain and Cheeeeekovvvvv in engineering and Scottyyyyy in the bar and aboard the USS Vengeance :V). I was so sorry there wasn't that much Uhura (she was kinda pushed in the background as Spock's angry girlfriend u.ú) and McCoy, although he was great as a third of the 'danger-moral' compass (which also featured Scotty and Spock in it) and as some kind of comic relief, which he was from the very first film as well). 

One gets to ship Kirk and Spock (OK no or maybe you do. You're free to do so if you wanna. But their friendship! I love their interactions so much: since we start barely where we left them in the first film, their relationship and bond is still trying to grow strong...and strong it gets and it becomes, of course, one of the most important plot strings in the movie. Jesus, I can't talk much about it without getting all emotional, but yeah, you'll get to see, in the end... Their last two scenes together break my heart. Prepare the tissues, everyone), you can't really blame Kirk for doing all and acting the way he does and you feel so touched by all that. And you try to get Spock...and in the end...fuck it! I didn't cry, but I got so immersed in Chris and Zachary's acting that I was happily mindblown =w=

I also got excited because of the way Harrison keeps them all biting their nails because they don't know what he'll do next...and you even find yourself cheering for him (I SWEAR this hasn't got anything to do with he actor playing him. Cross my heart and hope to die). He's a damn bastard, son of a bitch and all the other things they call him throughout the movie...but he's GREAT at it. I was happily impressed by the physicallity of the character and how well it fits with his massive intellect and how perfectly classy and wild and cruel and full of rage and raw he is. But, apart from that, he's also got a certain serenity in him (not calm. He's not calm. He's serene) and he's astute and manipulative and he just won't stop before nothing in order to fulfill his purpose. I don't know. I dunno what else to say. I loved him. I think... Yeah, I think I found myself a new favourite villain .___. *pompomPOOOOM*

I watched it in 3D both times, the second one was IMAX. I must confess I always have conflicts with 3D because I hate wearing two pairs of glasses to watch a freaking movie. I loved it the first time. I didn't like it as much when I watched it on IMAX and I don't really know why .___. That's just my perception. And some of the action scenes were barely visible and sometimes I was like: "Whoawaitwhat?". Although there were others where you could see everything happening and the only reason why you went "whoawaitwhat" was because everything happened in a rush and from different angles. Also the colours are so vibrant and full that they made me wanna puke out rainbows out of sheer happiness XD The sound... Gawd, the sound... Because of all the explosions and action and all that, sound's a bit overwhelming X_x

Now, I must really confess...I'm still struggling with the ending. When I watched it the first time I was like: "Wut?". When I watched it the second time I was so invested in other things that I was like: "Yeah, no prob, mate". But I'm still not entirely convinced. I won't say much about it...but I'm still thinking it was rather...weak. Not the epilogue. The end to all of Harrison's story and all that. Open doors... Keeping them open on purpose... (?)

Also, I remember I listened to a recording of a special live event where they played all the music for this movie and Michael Giacchino, the composer, said he tried to convey all he could about Harrison's character and motivations and personality in one melody because it impressed him way too much. When I listened to it, I tried to do my own description of the character based on what I found in the melody. And, God I'm still thrilled about how much of the character's personality and strength's in that piece of music. I'm still overwhelmed by that. Apart from that specific piece (which is a bonus track u.u), my faves are London Calling, Brigadoom, Buying the Space Farm, The San Fran Hustle and Star Trek Main Theme, of course. London Calling's beautiful! When I first listened to it in the theater I was in awe °((>w<))° It's so...adkjasdaacdasda! And Buying the Space Farm just gives me the feels because it belongs to the next to last scene with Kirk and Spock ;^;

So, all in all, I liked it very, very, truly much. I enjoyed it lots...and I need to watch it again :9

Here, another promo :D

Because one just can't get enough of these beauties ;D

These kinda things are the ones that make you wonder why the world is such a bad place.

The real world is just so...tough and full of shit and shitty people.

I'm so scared now. I don't even wanna leave my house anymore.

Why is everything so fucked up? Why are people so mean to each other? Why is power on the wrong side? I'm really so scared. I feel so apart from mundane things that I usually love so much...but so raw, so vulnerable...so naked.

Damn it, world! Damn it, everything! I don't wanna leave my house anymore, but I'm also scared they can get in here and...do something.

I really am so scared, so frightened...so disappointed in life and people and the world. Why was I even born here? Everything seems so small...all the other "problems" one has as a human being. This is the real world and it is shit and such a vomitive stench comes off it and it makes you sick. I don't want to be here anymore, really.

I don't want to anymore.

Shit.

Yay taking care of my class! (...For real, tho?) XD

So, today was Children's Day in my country and I saw lots of boys and girls dressed up as they pleased and wearing fantasy make up and all that XD

Also, today P sensei asked me: "Rincon san, you said in your presentation that you wanted to become a Japanese sensei some day, didn't you?" And as I asked: "Eh? :D", she told me: "Because you're going to take care of this group next Thursday."

:D

:D

:D!!!

(...whut? .___.)

It ain't that big of a deal. It'd be like...for one hour and sensei's already got all the activities planned for us to do, so...

But still. It's being in charge of a class...in University. Like...being a professor assistant. I never thought I'd be any of that .___. Mostly because I...never stand out in any other class :D

This is weird. So weird .___. XD But I'll do my best. As I said, it can't much of a deal...かな。。。

In other news, I blew an orange balloon inside the classroom as we were listening to the text book's CD and it was silly. I did it because I was looking for something inside my bag and then I came into it because I used it for my singing class (so I could give my notes the support they need. It's an exercise where you have to blow it while you press your cheeks so you have to use the pressure of your diaphragm in order to do it successfully. It is important because, that way, the note doesn't tremble and it sounds a lot more powerful and neat :D) and it was lying there. So I took it up my mouth and I blew into it, pressing my cheeks and it ended up being a round, plastic protuberance of a considerable size.

Sensei lifted her gaze just out of habit and she eyed me. Then she realised what she was seeing and started laughing. I laughed too and shrugged. I released the air and my classmates turned around to look for the source of the unexpected noise and I started laughing under my breath.

Mum told me I used to be like that when I was a kid: I did whatever came to my mind just because I wanted to. She smiled when I told her all this :) I smiled too XD I had almost forgotten my spontaneity and enthusiasm. It's nice to be reminded of it when you feel as lost and as unplugged from whatever-you-used-to-be as much as I've been feeling lately u.u Identity issues u.u XD

Also, my children's day gift was to spend the evening with mum, watching The Hobbit for a second time and eating sweets~ :3

Life's been good. I hope...it stays that way ;^;

Wish me luck next Thursday, pretty please? .___. XD

I need to say it here...

...because whenever I say things like these at home all I seem to get myself are bitter remarks on: "what-will-you-do-with-your-life? :VV" and I'm kinda sick of it already...

(It ain't as though I ain't trying, but I don't wanna be a fucking journalist and all the betas I try to reach are like...unreachable...or they seem to be that way. Why are you doing this to me, world?! TOT Why can't you make me happy sending me a job I like? u.u Please do so in May ;^;)

Anyways, here's the thing :3  I'm really happy now because:

* My sensei told me I've a pretty voice and that she thinks I can be a seiyuu with no problem XD

* I had a vocabulary workshop and my friends kept showing me off in front of the teachers .___. One was boasting about my English (which, as you know, ain't as good) and the other one was telling them how good I was at kanji in Japanese...and the other one agreed .___. We had lots of fun because we learnt strategies and ways to increase our vocabularies in different languages such as English, Japanese, German and Portuguese :D And it was awesome~ <3

* I didn't have Japanese class today. Instead, we had a kanji workshop in the afternoon XD And it was great because I saw the teacher who helped me in my attempts of studying first level japanese on my own (K san). I thought she wouldn't remember me (not only because it's been like...4 years since I last saw her, but also because I've changed my hair style and stuff), but once, when she had time to, she came near me and whispered: "ひさしぶり" and I was like: "!!! :DDD ひさしぶりですね!" and I was so stupidly happy about her remembering me :')

* Then, when the workshop ended, I stood stupidly near all the senseis (because there were three: one was this one I'm talking about and one of the others was my current sensei) and, as we wen't out the classroom, K san told my sensei that she met me before and my sensei told her I'm a good student and that I tried too hard to keep learning on my own...and K san said the same...and then Y sensei came in too (because she was at the vocabulary workshop yesterday) and agreed with them and I felt so... *insert keyboard smash here* >//////<

* K san and me walked down the stairs together. And she asked me in which level I was...and blahblah...we talked and talked and I told her how happy I was (because I truly, really was) of seeing her again and all...and...she repeated how good she thought I was...and I was so thankful and overwhelmed and happy that I still can't get over it ;^;

So, that's why I'm sharing it here...because I only told people here what happened yesterday...and well... u.u I just wanted to write it somewhere, I guess u.u

Am leaving now because my shita no otouto says my eyes look terrible .___. And I don't really feel that good, physically @_@ XD

I'm so bad at keeping up with blogs XD

I'm so sorry. Really. I know no one reads me but myself, but I'm still sorry. I should be more eager at writing this thing. But there are sometimes I just can't bring myself to do it XD

Anyways: life's been quite nice :3 I'm so obsessed with Sherlock right now and I've already started dubbing classes as in...formally, I guess XD We started practising with a thingie called Rastamouse (about three or four episodes), then an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and we've started with Friends' finale, part one XD

I don't like Friends that much, if I must be completely and absolutely honest. But practise is practise, I suppose. And it was great fun because today there were only two girls (a younger girl and me) and, since there are many female characters here, we ended up practising lots ^^

But I almost hyperventilated because I was dubbing a pregnant woman's reactions right when she entered labour...so...they had to record me in a different channel because one of the boys kept getting it wrong...and I was starting to feel dizzy when I had to redo the take. My legs failed me when I did the second scene X_x XD I had to do it as fast and best as I could...so I didn't have to repeat it all over and faint there .___. XD But it was interesting XD

Of course, those aren't going to be broadcasted because they're only meant to be used as scholastic material XDDD

As for my singing classes, I finally managed to reach that freaking G that was giving me problems. And I was so absurdly happy over it that I even drew it XD I must say I can't really say how happy it makes me to be able to release my voice (I still have it a little trapped in there, but it's kinda coming out and I must confess...I very much like what I hear :9). I'm also able to sing Snow White's "Someday My Prince Will Come" decently and also "Love Those Beams", which is, I think, a baroque opera or something like that :3

This is my drawing~ XD Yeah, new haircut :3 Kinda love it <3

I'll start singing about two more small baroque opera pieces next Tuesday...and I might finally get the musical comedy song I'll be singing for the concert next...October, November? I dunno.

It's so much fun and I enjoy this so much. It's so amazing to hear sounds you never ever in your life thought would leave your mouth. I'm so happy, so thankful. And, modesty apart, I really do like what I hear coming from me~ :3

Let's see whether I'll be able to overcome my stage fright and manage to sing at the concert at all .___. LOL

As for Japanese...it's ridiculous how happy I am about that. I'm trying my best and it seems as though I'm being able to bring out results to light XD

The only thing I'm worrying about now is...well...money >3>

I need to find myself a job T^T But everytime I send any CV...no one answers back and I start feeling kinda useless here.

I don't want to end up being a journalist because I really don't like that life. It scares me so much. I won't be able to cope with it and I'll be so miserable .___. I sometimes feel my CV ain't appealing enough and that saddens me. I need to look for things that would help me improve there. But how can I when they ask you for experience no one's willing to give? I've been some sort of freelancer there for about two years at school...but I dunno how much that counts and it makes me feel uneasy. I need to be behind a desk...correcting texts, editing things...looking for interesting projects in order to publish them, convince people to do so, looking for fonts, types of papers, inks...colours... *creys in a corner* I want to be an editor as badly as I want to be a voice actress T^T9

And finish my thesis. I also want that. But my tutor's kinda disappeared...and I'm starting to get kinda anxious here.

*sigh* Those are the only turn downs. But I guess that might be because it isn't the time to do those things just yet ;^;

:)

I'm also waiting for Star Trek: Into Darkness because of this:

(I'm being honest here, don't hate me! >3> *runs away*) And also because of all the explosions, sci-fi, spaceships blowing up in the middle of the sky, derranged chaos and destruction taking over our planet and neverending action package it promises to be :9 (Have you watched the trailers? Hm-mh!) And also because Harrison san seems to have an epic one-on-one battle with Spock san coughcoughoverKirkcoughwut...and it'll certainly be worth seeing XD

Less than a month now for it :9 °((>w<))° May 10th here~ :9 I'm saving money in order to watch it in IMAX...and THREEEEEEEDEEEEEEEEEEEE :VVV Because I need to see if I get a lot more excited about it that way XD

So, yeah. That's life now :3

Also, April's an important month for birthdays as well~ :3 I already said it but: Happy 20th, Kuro huuuuun~! I love you lots~ :3

Next birthdays'll be coming as the month wanes XD :3