And precisely as things get better...

...something has to happen to make them bad :D

Well, not bad, but kinda spoil them a tad bit.

So, I was all happy and stuff because of my jap class and because I kinda finally felt I was having a slight push of support from the Hawks...but there was this memory of a certain someone lingering in the air and I didn't like it.

It was awful because I knew what would happen. But I didn't want to be much of a paranoid and I wanted to give myself the chance to stop thinking...

But in the end I couldn't stop myself and it fecking happened.

I knew you were going to DM me or something yesterday. And you fecking did. It wasn't a long or meaningful conversation (actually, it was quite plain and dull ._____. So weird) because I didn't answer anything important and it wasn't recorded either because, as soon as we finished talking, I deleted all messages and e-mails Twitter sent to me. "I felt the need to know about you"... And then I came to the point where I asked myself whether I called you or you called me. I think it's the second. Because I really was coping with this quite fine...until someone (maybe you) started implanting memories of you and stuff inside my head .____. Fecking brainwaves.

I was so happy and you kinda crushed my happy illusion. Now I feel quite annoyed. Eff you. And eff stupid Valentine's Day vibes, because I think that's mostly why you thought that it'd prolly be a good idea to think of me and contact me. And I utterly dislike that ¬¬

Yeah, I'm pissed because I hate it when these kind of things happen. And also because I still can't forgive you ¬¬ And it hurts so badly still.

Funny thing was...I slept well at night. I say it was funny because, any other time, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from circling that matter in my head and I most certainly wouldn't have been able to sleep at all. But I did ._____. So that means...maybe I'm right at thinking it wasn't me calling you but the other way around.

Anyways, I needed help to cope with this and there were Sherlock and Al.

It's funny how I always obsess madly over some things when I'm feeling down. I must take note of that in case I ever get a partner...because it's sane to be obsessed with things and series...but being obsessed with someone is a whole new deal and it can be harmful u.u (Or so I believe, Iwek). I found two more artists to follow because they draw Sherlock stuff...but not only because of that. I love their drawing styles because...they are so cool XDDD And that makes me think I do wanna learn how to draw and have my own style because I don't wanna be grieving on the fact that I can't draw decently anymore XDD So, that's another resolution for this month XD

In case you wanna check them out, here & here they are :3 

Also, I'm reading fanfiction and watching vids and I think that's making me feel better again XD

So, I'm leaving you with a vid I found on Dailymotion related to The Hobbit XDDD It's relevant because of reasons. You might as well see, because it is actually funny XD

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xvx1rt_marry-kill-f-k_creation#.URW61R1dNu4

I've been renewing my stupid love for YGOTAS...and here's one of my favs...because of reasons XDDD

That's the version fangirls wanted to watch... But it was deleted in the end... Still, it is quite funny XDDD "In that case, Marik, if we win this duel, let us make sweet hatred together. Just you and me. Hating each other. All. Night. Long." XDDDDD

Ehehehehe~

Oh, and today's Shinji's birthday, SID's guitar. Aki's was on Sunday, SID's bass. I love them both. SID'll be releasing a new single on April :3 I'm way too excited for that one! They did such a good job with M&W... I hope they keep it that way :3

Aaaaaand...tomorrow's Tom Hiddleston's birthday ;v; God bless his beautiful soul because he's so sweet and amazing and I love him much :3

Sneaky, your four and your Disney princess are showing...

I know I said I was updating last Friday... But nothing much happened until now XD

First, I must say I do enjoy my Japanese class. It's pretty amazing! °((>w<))° I thought I was going to be way behind all those who had taken first level last semester with that teacher...but I'm pretty much fine XD But I sometimes get the impression some of my classmates think I know way more than I actually do u.u

I'm really happy, tho :DD Even when I get something wrong, I don't feel bad and just feel the will to keep learning to be better at it :3 It's been long since I last felt this way towards something related to school u.u

Second, I'm taking singing classes. And I feel so happy~ <3 But my teacher told me my voice is absolutely light and sweetens as it goes higher...which, immediately, made me think of a Disney princess or something. And it was something like that, actually...because she gave me the score of Someday My Prince Will Come of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. I feel animals will come to me as soon as I open my mouth and start singing XD

There's this high-pitched note I dunno if I'll be able to hold... .______. I'll also be singing some barroque operas :D I'm slightly scared :D But quite excited too! °((>w<))°

And third...I've declared this year'll be the Guajiro Dreams Year :DDD Where I'll be making them come true :DDD I'm gonna do my best about it :3

Anyway, that's all I had to say =w=

Bonus:

Can you please explain me how are you so damn attractive? >/////< Damn, mister! >''<

Yeah, that means I like him much already >//3//>

And this XDD

I have a mighty need for this thing now XDDD Kid!Loki with his Stark Phone XDDDD

New things and I feel rather old XD

I'm starting Japanese classes tomorrow. It's weird because it's gonna be so different. And it's the only thing I'm gonna do. I'm sorta scared, y'know? It's been quite long since I last had a language class .____. I hope I still have the flavour. Might post my first week experience by Friday or something. I dunno. I feel old because I'm certain most of my classmates will be younger people and I don't tend to get along them...or with many people of my age, actually .____. (There are happy exceptions of course u.ub) Oh, the youth! .____.

I spent the night at my amore's house. I wanted to leave before night came, but I failed epically, so... No XD And we talked and LOL'd and were quite happy. I dunno . I felt somehow free. I feel like that every time I am with him. It's as though I can totally be myself when he's around. That's the magic of my Orion's belt *le sigh* I love them so much~ <3 I'm really, truly pleased :3

We watched Big Time Rush together and he was laughing way too much with me XD

In other news:

I'm kinda...not nostalgic. I dunno how I am. I don't feel down, but I've been kinda bringing back memories and stuff...but I won't do anything about it. I think it's OK to remember things and feel pleased or sweetly moved about them and just let them rush through you and leave. I feel I'm in some kind of pause again, but memories are surrounding me and I see them and smile at them, but I don't feel I miss that person per se. I just feel I miss our friendship...but not that person...as in...I wouldn't want to see them because it'd be quite awkward. Is it weird? XD

Anyways, bonus:

This mini song!comic by Reapersun @ tumblr. I loved that song ;^; So many feels T_T And the comic art's just gorgeous u.u Sherlock related, so... But I think you may get it anyways u.u

The Game Is On

The game is so on right now. It's in times like these when you realise how much of an adult you're supposed to be already u.u

What I do know about that is this: I'm so not one and I don't think I'm ready to do whatever I am supposed to do or what's expected of me as an adult...but I'll surely do my best. And, since people say I'm good at acting, I'm going to act as though I know what I'm doing, as Neil Gaiman said, and I'll make good art of my life :)

In other news, yesterday was the first anniversary of my grandpa's death. There are moments when his memory seems to linger in the air. Last week I dreamt of him...and he was crying. But mum and my youngest brother say they dreamt of him too and he was nice and happy. I dunno. Maybe my unconscious is pushing my angst to conciousness and picturing it with him ^^;

Anyways, gonna do my best to keep up >w<9

Just thinking about my future again XD

I never know anything .____.

It's midJan and I never even wished you a merry xmas ._____.

Merry Xmas and happy New Year! D: XD

I'm so bad at keeping blogs D: I sure am u.u Oh gee. I wanted to make a Sherlock and an OUAT review so badly...but I've been sorta tired. And I don't even know why .___. Maybe it's because I've been sorta depressed. And I don't even know why... Well, actually I do know why is that XDD

Last December I finished my college studies. I still need to write my thesis and I don't want to do it. Why? Because it takes way too much time and you usually are wrong in whatever you write and have to write it again. I hate that. But I also think that I should prolly have it done soon if I don't want to have that damn boulder on my back later on my life u.u

Why can't my school be as private universities here where you graduate just by sitting in their classrooms for four and a half years? This is so shitty u.ú (Here, public universities are said to be better than private ones u.u)

Also...I'm scared. Because writing a thesis is such a responsibility. And I don't think I'm ready to be responsible of whatever comes out of my head...and gets captured in paper sheets. I know I do feel responsible of my fanfics and the original stories I write and publish on my dA account...but it's not quite the same thing because this is formal and it's important in an academic level u.u I don't wanna screw it up. But I also don't want to make something big of it because I just want the damn paper that says I'm a college graduate =____=

And then comes my ego and tells me I should do something amazing...just to feel frustrated about not getting a honourable mention because of my crappy and mediocre school marks u.ú Mind you, it ain't because I'm stupid... Or maybe it is, because I wanted to learn even if it meant to have awful marks...and when I didn't learn a thing, I didn't even bother doing my best because the teacher and the subject didn't motivate me enough u.u

So, I think that, in short, I'm prolly scared of growing up but I don't wanna stick there for too long because I'm done already and I need to finish it right u.u

That's for one.

Then...ever since the world ended (for me it did...exactly two months before it was predicted to end), I've had this urge to leave everything I know behind me. Everything I was, everything I wanted to do...ALL of it. I've been trying hard to change. Of course it isn't easy. And I've also been trying to put an end to certain things I've been carrying on my back since High School. I've been changing my hair (now it is multicoloured XD), my dress style...even the way I walk. I'm not betraying myself, I'm just trying to polish the one I am in order to be who I am truly supposed to be and embrace that being. I'm trying to be fair and patient with myself and I'm trying to forgive myself for stupid things that I've done even though I knew I would hurt myself. It's hard. It's harder than I thought to reconcile with oneself. I always tend to expect so much of my person and I always end up disappointing me...but lately I've found I'm really able to do things I didn't know I could do and that makes me feel really positive and happy and even satisfied. But it's never good enough for me...and that's where I think I need to be more patient.

I finally ended something I was stuck with for about four, five years or something. And I felt great, because it had a happy ending. And that gave me a wonderful lesson about patience and love and calmness. I won't rush anything anymore. I won't rush myself to heal because that's not the answer or the way it is supposed to be. I think it's important to let time through and lick the wounds and heal the bruises because everything will fall into place when it has to. I'm way too impatient, I know. But I've to learn everything happens for a reason and I might have to find my way into this new world on my own...and then take care of this paused thing. And everything will be wonderful afterwards and it'll be a happy ending. Whatever happens. I'm sure of that :)

See? I'm depressed but I'm also quite positive about my immediate and far future XD *le sigh* =w=

In other news:

* My youngest brother's been quite supportive lately and I'm so thankful and happy for that.

* I'm finally taking japanese classes :9 I'll start in two weeks time :3

* I wanted to take russian too, but my school wouldn't let me ¬3¬

* I'm getting away from Twitter for three weeks or something more XD

* I've rediscovered my love for Kokia and I finally uploaded Karma's second chapter (almost a year after I posted the first one XD #fail). I should be planning the third one already .____. XD

* My acting teacher keeps telling me how much he enjoys my work and I'm happy about that :3 I just hope I can make a career outta that because I'd seriously love that. Dubbing,  I mean. Even singing.

* My mom's offering to pay my singing classes u.u So...I might just as well start with that this year, I dunno.

* The lady at Vocational Orientation at school told me my curriculum was quite nice and that she might have something for me to start my professional practices.

* I'm buying myself some new clothes to match my new coloured hair XDDD

Aaaaaand...I dunno what else ._____. But life's been quite nice this last week :3 I hope the whole year is like this ^^; Last was absolute crap .____. (Not all of it...but there were powerful things that took me off my centre and off balance ;^; I hope to fix that this year u.u)

No pic today because I dunno what to put here .____. XD Well, I do know but it's embarrassing, so no XD

Random Childhood Memories Time!

I just remembered something silly while watching Sherlock's "A Study in Pink" again: when I was in sixth grade, primary school, I used to play around with a friend of mine saying I was Sherlock Holmes (I had a much longer name for that. It included my actual name) and he was my John "Guauson". He was my assistant and he was the one who used to lend me the magnifying glass, because he had one in his pencil case. Its name was "Lupita", because magnifying glass is "lupa" in spanish. Lupita's a diminutive for "Guadalupe", which is a proper name or, also, a diminutive for "lupa".

When I was in secondary school, the nickname "Sneaky Hawk" was born in my head and I started to call myself that. And it was funny because it's SH... Just as Sherlock Holmes :') I barely realised that a few months ago XD

Also, a girl from dubbing school told me she was scared of me because I just sat down, silent, watching them all and that I knew all their names and I noticed everything they were wearing and could describe them with my eyes closed. And...well, she's actually right :9

Dunno. Wanted to talk about that because I suddenly remembered :3 It seemed interesting :3 Ah, memories =w=

I'm still posting something regarding this week, the end of the world, the end of the year and my Sherlock review, as well as ROTG and maybe, just maybe Moonrise Kingdom and all the other movies I owe this blog ._____. XD

I'm still alive XD

Yeah, I am. Just posting here for you to know that. Not many things have happened. Most of them have to do with my acting class and growing nostalgia... I've been watching movies, reading and not doing much. I think we won't be celebrating Xmas here in the nest... Or, at least, not a very merry one. Dunno. The feeling here's kinda down and it makes me sad.

I need money too u.u Haven't got much... I'm slightly worried about that. Need to find myself a job already.

On the bright side, Karu gave me the first (and maybe only) Xmas gifts of this year. And I feel all shitty because I think I won't be able to get her something. There are people I wanna see, but I might not be able to because of the lack of money again. Fecking money, why do we all need you so much? And why aren't you here? ¬¬ You piss me off to no end, but don't go away. Because I fecking need you.

I'm trying to wake up my manliness... But unfortunately, my femininity seems to be rising instead :I At least when I dress myself D: XD I hate that. I hate the damsel in distress role. I don't think (and I don't want to think) it goes well with me. I need to let go of certain things, but stupid nostalgia and Twitter doesn't help much, so I'm thinking whether I should just shut that bloody thing down. For my own good XD

Don't think I haven't been checking your blog, Kuro hun. I'll comment on every single post you've uploaded as soon as...I dunno XD But, mark my words, I will! XD

On a side-note:

I started watching Sherlock about two weeks ago. On Wednesday I finally managed to watch the first episode complete. Then I watched the second one...and started the third one. Yesterday I watched the fourth and part of the fifth. I finished watching it all tonight and-I-fecking-loved-it. I really, REALLY did. I might review it here. I'm not good at reviewing stuff, but I have a mighty need to do this because it's worth commenting and discussing and all. Although...don't expect much since I suck so much at doing that...and at English too, so...

Bonus :DDD

In order to commemorate this new acquisition, here's this, from geothebio @ tumblr XD

I need to go the fuck to sleep too XD