Last weekend was full of tears and hopelessness and lots of screaming and stuff like that. There were lots of emotions involved: from utter, unjustified happiness to utter (un)justified desperation. It's weird. It's been long since I last cried like that (almost exactly 11 months XD).
So everything just kinda finally exploded because I wasn't able to find a job. I'm in debt for one month of school fee and I was about to shoot myself (not really, tho) when I started telling myself I had to find a way to settle things out. So...I thought the best thing to do (and that was something I've had in mind for a long, long time...ever since I started school, actually) was to finish my thesis project and then go out to the big bad world and see whatever it has to offer (if it even has anything to offer yet). And so I finished my new research protocol (I changed my study subject but I like this lots more and that kinda makes it easier :B), sent it to my consultant teacher, hoping she would answer back as soon as she could for me to register it at school and apply for a scholarship. I also started saving all I could from the first chapter I already had written and it so happened to fit beautifully, so... I've already 15 pages there XD
She did answer, by the way. And I can't tell how happy I am to have her beside me.
And then D chan (bless her, totally bless her) appeared and I told her all that happened and then she asked whether I was interested in being in a research project she's working at now, for her own consultant teacher, who's a researcher in our University. So, things happened and now I am working there. And I'll be there for the next year or so until I'm done with my thesis project and I'll be able to keep up with Japanese and take Noryoku Shiken and keep up with my singing and dubbing classes and I'll be able to pay for that and I'll still be at the choir. AAAAND I'll also be able to see D chan everyday as we did at the Film Library :')
Even my family are acting different towards me and I feel so calm and so much better...although I'm still struggling to change my old habits to good ones so I can do everything and don't die in the process XDDDD
And all that happened in less than a week. And I cried last night again, but out of sheer dumb happiness and disbelief and things that are finally paying off after such a shitty couple of years. It's the first time in life I've ever cried of happiness. I feel I've taken the right choices in life. Even if they are rather slow...but all's paying off and I'm so happy I didn't choose otherwise...no matter how many people I've left behind u.u There are some I miss...and there are some I feel happy to have left. That sounds horrible, but I think it couldn't've been otherwise u.u
Anyways, things are getting better and I hope they stay that way :') Imma try not to slow down :B
Últimamente me he enamorado mucho de mis fines de semana. Supongo que tiene que ver con que son los únicos días en que realmente hago cosas "productivas" o que veo a mis compañeritos del curso de doblaje (me pregunto si ya podré empezar a llamarlos "amigos". Confieso que les estoy tomando mucho cariño u.u) y ellos me suben mucho el ánimo. Ayer terminamos con el capítulo que dejamos pendiente la semana pasada (uno de Las tres mellizas) y platicamos al respecto. Fue maravilloso porque hicimos un capítulo de media hora en dos clases (lo cual es considerable si nos ponemos a pensar que, de la serie anterior, sólo avanzamos cinco minutos por clase...inche F ¬3¬). La verdad es que, cuando estaba frente al atril, me gustaba mi trabajo...pero cuando lo escuché al final me dí cuenta de que realmente me hace falta más .__. Aaaaaunque...ya me tardo menos en poner lo que tengo que poner XD
Y bueno, tuvimos la oportunidad de hacer voces distintas, entre las niñas (las trillizas), la Bruja Aburrida y Zeila, la gacela (que terminó siendo una reina)... Me divertí mucho haciendo a la bruja. Mis amigos (sí, acabo de decidir que ya lo son) me dicen que me quedaba muy chida. Cuando me escuché grabada ya no me gustó tanto, he de confesar. Con las niñas fue, más que nada, una cuestión de agudizar y endulzar la voz y no me quedaron tan mal. Pero la de Zeila me quedó bonita... Y eso que pensé que no me quedaría bien una voz de princesa o algo así XD
Terminamos la clase y salimos a platicar y shalalá. En eso estaba cuando mi profe salió y me dijo:
—¿Qué haces afuera, Sneaky? ¡Órale, a trabajar!
Yo lo miré y le pregunté:
—¿Qué? ¿Yo? ¿En serio?
—¡Sí! Me hacen falta chicas. ¡Órale! ¡Para adentro!
Me metí a la cabina de nueva cuenta y me encontré con que me tocó el mismo personaje con el que apoyé la vez pasada en máster: una muchacha toda sensualota y mamona .___. Como en cada escena a grabar, primero vemos de qué trata y luego metemos el diálogo. Vi la primera escena... Estuvo leve. Sólo un filtro y una amenaza por teléfono a otra muchacha. Cuando vi la siguiente escena...no pude evitar pensar que se trataba de una película porno de bajo presupuesto por la baja calidad de la imagen. Cuando terminó la escena, mi profesor dijo:
—Como puedes darte cuenta, en la clase de la mañana tenemos material apto para todo público. En la clase de la tarde, tenemos material más subido de tono. Si pongo esto en la mañana, capaz que Va (*una de las chavas más chicas de mi grupo*) se me va de espaldas.
La escena, me explico, era cachondeo lésbico y luego un trío, con un güe :D (Güel, shet) No estaba tan, tan, taaaan fuerte...no tanto, al menos, cuando sólo tienes que ver. Pero cuando tienes que meterle pujidos y gemidos y el resto de la cabina está lleno de puros hombres, bueno...la cosa sí cambia considerablemente .___.
Y pues...hice lo que pude intentando, en la manera de lo posible, no sentirme consciente de mí misma. A final de cuentas, pensé, es un trabajo y la cosa es que se vea que no me espantan cosas como estas, pero... >3> La verdad no creo que haya salido bien... ./////.
A-ny-ways. Fue la segunda y última escena que me pidieron hacer y salí de ahí corriendo :D Antes, el profe me dijo: "¿Estás bien? ¿O ya te quedaste traumada?"
Me reí, nerviosa, y no pude más que contestar:
—No, está bien. Chamba es chamba, señor. Así las cosas...así es el bisne.
Luego salí a platicar con mis amiguis y a reírme de eso...y de otras cosas...y a frustrar los intentos de Ve y de JL de romper su récord de tiempo besándose porque Ve no dejaba de reírse de lo que yo decía.
—Es que no me quiero perder de las Sneakyaventuras... —decía cada vez que dejaba a JL con la lengua al aire.
Fue entonces que me dijeron que debería escribir un libro con mis chocoaventuras y venderlo porque sería gracioso: "Sneakyaventuras, por Sneaky". Ve también dijo que, cuando yo muera (y, aclaró, espera que falte mucho para eso todavía), seguramente las universidades del mundo se disputarán la custodia de mi cerebro para saber qué demonios traigo dentro. Después, Cobito dijo que él se lo robaría antes de que eso pasara y se lo pondría encima del suyo para transferir mis habilidades (aúnmepreguntocuáles) a su cuerpo.
No pude evitar reír e imaginarme a Cobito kun fangirleando por yaoi, por Johnlock, leyendo fanfics en la madrugada y saltando y dando vueltas por todos lados como suelo hacerlo. O recitando Hamlet frente a Bellas Artes como hice yo la otra semana. Sería muy gracioso.
En fin, que fue un sábado muy divertido.
Y hoy fuimos a la Sala Nezahualcóyotl a escuchar a la OFUNAM. Y, no es por nada, pero la música en vivo es lo más hermoso y emocionante de este mundo. De verdad... Durante todo el concierto estuve perdida en los instrumentos, en las expresiones y gestos de los músicos, en la fuerza y la pasión del director y del pianista invitados. Mi favorito fue el Concierto para piano y orquesta en Fa de George Gershwin, el tercer movimiento. Dios mío... ¡Era jazz...combinado con música clásica! Alguna vez escuché que alguien dijo que una mezcla semejante no era posible porque ambos no se llevan. A lo mejor es una cuestión de gustos (a D no le gustó porque pensó que era muy caótico), pero esa pieza me convenció de que es posible mezclar ambos y emocionarse hasta el tuétano. En cuanto llegué a casa y encendí la computadora, busqué el concierto en internet. Lo escuché de nuevo: no se compara, para nada, con la intensidad de la versión en vivo y con la maestría y entrega del director invitado de hoy (Ronald Zollman) pero igual la dejaré por aquí :B
*suspiro* La verdad es que sí, estoy enamorada de esto (.-.) A veces me pregunto si realmente erré mi camino al escoger periodismo como carrera u.u No creo haber errado...pero supongo que jamás tuve el coraje suficiente para dedicarme de lleno al arte .___. Y, aunque sabía que amaba la música...amaba más escribir. Además, ¿quién iba a decir que realmente podía actuar? .___. ¡Desde la secundaria pensé que era una papa para ello! Y después no me preocupé en corroborar si era o no verdad porque actuar, presentarme frente a un público, nunca fue mi idea de "vida" XD
Como sea, de nuevo, estoy a disposición de la corriente XD A ver adónde vamos :D
...because whenever I say things like these at home all I seem to get myself are bitter remarks on: "what-will-you-do-with-your-life? :VV" and I'm kinda sick of it already...
(It ain't as though I ain't trying, but I don't wanna be a fucking journalist and all the betas I try to reach are like...unreachable...or they seem to be that way. Why are you doing this to me, world?! TOT Why can't you make me happy sending me a job I like? u.u Please do so in May ;^;)
Anyways, here's the thing :3 I'm really happy now because:
* My sensei told me I've a pretty voice and that she thinks I can be a seiyuu with no problem XD
* I had a vocabulary workshop and my friends kept showing me off in front of the teachers .___. One was boasting about my English (which, as you know, ain't as good) and the other one was telling them how good I was at kanji in Japanese...and the other one agreed .___. We had lots of fun because we learnt strategies and ways to increase our vocabularies in different languages such as English, Japanese, German and Portuguese :D And it was awesome~ <3
* I didn't have Japanese class today. Instead, we had a kanji workshop in the afternoon XD And it was great because I saw the teacher who helped me in my attempts of studying first level japanese on my own (K san). I thought she wouldn't remember me (not only because it's been like...4 years since I last saw her, but also because I've changed my hair style and stuff), but once, when she had time to, she came near me and whispered: "ひさしぶり" and I was like: "!!! :DDD ひさしぶりですね!" and I was so stupidly happy about her remembering me :')
* Then, when the workshop ended, I stood stupidly near all the senseis (because there were three: one was this one I'm talking about and one of the others was my current sensei) and, as we wen't out the classroom, K san told my sensei that she met me before and my sensei told her I'm a good student and that I tried too hard to keep learning on my own...and K san said the same...and then Y sensei came in too (because she was at the vocabulary workshop yesterday) and agreed with them and I felt so... *insert keyboard smash here* >//////<
* K san and me walked down the stairs together. And she asked me in which level I was...and blahblah...we talked and talked and I told her how happy I was (because I truly, really was) of seeing her again and all...and...she repeated how good she thought I was...and I was so thankful and overwhelmed and happy that I still can't get over it ;^;
So, that's why I'm sharing it here...because I only told people here what happened yesterday...and well... u.u I just wanted to write it somewhere, I guess u.u
Am leaving now because my shita no otouto says my eyes look terrible .___. And I don't really feel that good, physically @_@ XD
I'm so sorry. Really. I know no one reads me but myself, but I'm still sorry. I should be more eager at writing this thing. But there are sometimes I just can't bring myself to do it XD
Anyways: life's been quite nice :3 I'm so obsessed with Sherlock right now and I've already started dubbing classes as in...formally, I guess XD We started practising with a thingie called Rastamouse (about three or four episodes), then an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and we've started with Friends' finale, part one XD
I don't like Friends that much, if I must be completely and absolutely honest. But practise is practise, I suppose. And it was great fun because today there were only two girls (a younger girl and me) and, since there are many female characters here, we ended up practising lots ^^
But I almost hyperventilated because I was dubbing a pregnant woman's reactions right when she entered labour...so...they had to record me in a different channel because one of the boys kept getting it wrong...and I was starting to feel dizzy when I had to redo the take. My legs failed me when I did the second scene X_x XD I had to do it as fast and best as I could...so I didn't have to repeat it all over and faint there .___. XD But it was interesting XD
Of course, those aren't going to be broadcasted because they're only meant to be used as scholastic material XDDD
As for my singing classes, I finally managed to reach that freaking G that was giving me problems. And I was so absurdly happy over it that I even drew it XD I must say I can't really say how happy it makes me to be able to release my voice (I still have it a little trapped in there, but it's kinda coming out and I must confess...I very much like what I hear :9). I'm also able to sing Snow White's "Someday My Prince Will Come" decently and also "Love Those Beams", which is, I think, a baroque opera or something like that :3
This is my drawing~ XD Yeah, new haircut :3 Kinda love it <3
I'll start singing about two more small baroque opera pieces next Tuesday...and I might finally get the musical comedy song I'll be singing for the concert next...October, November? I dunno.
It's so much fun and I enjoy this so much. It's so amazing to hear sounds you never ever in your life thought would leave your mouth. I'm so happy, so thankful. And, modesty apart, I really do like what I hear coming from me~ :3
Let's see whether I'll be able to overcome my stage fright and manage to sing at the concert at all .___. LOL
As for Japanese...it's ridiculous how happy I am about that. I'm trying my best and it seems as though I'm being able to bring out results to light XD
The only thing I'm worrying about now is...well...money >3>
I need to find myself a job T^T But everytime I send any CV...no one answers back and I start feeling kinda useless here.
I don't want to end up being a journalist because I really don't like that life. It scares me so much. I won't be able to cope with it and I'll be so miserable .___. I sometimes feel my CV ain't appealing enough and that saddens me. I need to look for things that would help me improve there. But how can I when they ask you for experience no one's willing to give? I've been some sort of freelancer there for about two years at school...but I dunno how much that counts and it makes me feel uneasy. I need to be behind a desk...correcting texts, editing things...looking for interesting projects in order to publish them, convince people to do so, looking for fonts, types of papers, inks...colours... *creys in a corner* I want to be an editor as badly as I want to be a voice actress T^T9
And finish my thesis. I also want that. But my tutor's kinda disappeared...and I'm starting to get kinda anxious here.
*sigh* Those are the only turn downs. But I guess that might be because it isn't the time to do those things just yet ;^;
:)
I'm also waiting for Star Trek: Into Darkness because of this:
(I'm being honest here, don't hate me! >3> *runs away*) And also because of all the explosions, sci-fi, spaceships blowing up in the middle of the sky, derranged chaos and destruction taking over our planet and neverending action package it promises to be :9 (Have you watched the trailers? Hm-mh!) And also because Harrison san seems to have an epic one-on-one battle with Spock san coughcoughoverKirkcoughwut...and it'll certainly be worth seeing XD
Less than a month now for it :9 °((>w<))° May 10th here~ :9 I'm saving money in order to watch it in IMAX...and THREEEEEEEDEEEEEEEEEEEE :VVV Because I need to see if I get a lot more excited about it that way XD
So, yeah. That's life now :3
Also, April's an important month for birthdays as well~ :3 I already said it but: Happy 20th, Kuro huuuuun~! I love you lots~ :3
Next birthdays'll be coming as the month wanes XD :3
